Inner voice~

My inner voice tells me something. I can chose to ignore it, or push that voice aside, but it will come back when the thing it was warning me about comes to fruition.

I know this inner voice is my deep wisdom an intuition accumulated from years of experiences.

Sometimes, though, I fail to trust it – I wonder if it is only my fear – yelling out to keep me safe from long gone boogeymen. There is a chance the boogeymen are still real; but I wouldn’t need an inner voice to warn me if they were; I would already recognize them (or so I hope)

Only time will discern between the two possibilities – friend or foe – growth or withdrawal.

I must wait to see the truth~

Function Why

I was working on my mac just now and hit the “function” “T” buttons to add a new tab in order to open a new window.

Instead, I hit “function” “Y” – of course, nothing happened, but it hit me – wouldn’t it be so much easier if we had a “function” “why” button for our life?

If something bad happenned, we could just hit “Function Why” – and the reason would be revealed. If we were lonely and it felt as if no one loved us – “Function Why” would provide the insight.

Anyway, of course, life isn’t that simple and there is no “Function Why” key to hit – but it added some humor to my day to contemplate it for a minute or two.

Love Haiku

Love hibernation

like butterfly in cocoon

yearning to emerge

Meditation In Motion

Recently I started making yoga and meditation a priority in my life again. I had let these interests go this past year, first as I adjusted to graduate school and then because life became increasingly filled with studying and pressure. I went from feeling centered and grounded at the beginning of the semesters to having moments of feeling completely chaotic in both my physical world and in my emotional state.

My yoga studio offers a free meditation group one night a week and I attended a session two weeks ago. The woman leading the meditation was wonderful in her peaceful and supportive energy and I spent some time talking with her after the group ended.

One of the topics we discussed was walking meditation. I have only done it once in a group and didn’t find that it worked for me at all. I was distracted with trying to keep enough distance between the people in front and behind me. The walk was slow, much slower than I anticipated, and my steps were unsteady trying to move that slowly. In the end, I was frustrated because it increased my stress and I was in no way able to relax, breathe or move inward for reflection.

Then we talked about what I like to refer to as “moving meditation”. I find that sometimes when I’m driving, or doing something repetitive, that I am very familiar with, I move into a meditative state. One of my favorite times to do this is in the morning while the coffee is brewing. If I’ve run the dishwasher the night before, I take this time to unload the dishwasher. I’ve arranged my kitchen so that the dishes are in cabinets right above the dishwasher. One by one, I grab the glasses and move them up into their spots in the cabinets, then the plates and finally, the bowls. Each dish with its own place, repetitive motion up and down, no thought or analysis involved. With this familiarity, my mind is free to wander a bit, moving from thought to thought, not holding on to any one of them, just letting them flow through my mind peacefully. The timing of the coffee brewing and of emptying the dishwasher is synchronized almost perfectly with each being done at just about the same time. I love those moments. I’ve gained a few minutes of absolute internal peace, free from stress or worry, and I’m always a little more grounded when they’re done.

Yesterday, I went rock and mineral collecting with a friend. I’ve never been before and I know very little about rocks or minerals, but over the past year, through my friend’s tutelag, I’ve begun to absorb some of that information as he’s shown me his collection and new finds. We stayed local and visited a new construction site and the site of an athletic field that happens to be right near a local fault line. We spent over five hours working our way through these two sites. The weather was perfect and no one else was around to disturb the sounds of the birds or leaves rustling nearby. My friend stayed closer by in the beginning, showing me some of the things to look for. As time went by, we moved apart, each caught up in our individual quests; each concentrating on what was in front of us, above us, or right near our feet. Rock and mineral hunting is a study in taking in the big picture and the minute at the same time. Sometimes you are searching for patterns in the boulders or the wall of rock to give you clues as to where to look, other times, you are looking at the much smaller rocks all around your feet, focusing your eyes to catch glints of color or light as the sun catches the edge of a crystal.

I have to say that those five hours were the most enjoyable I’ve spent in a good long time. I found that I entered a similar type of meditative state as I do when unloading the dishwasher. There was no need for me to worry about bills, or work or anything other than the activity at hand. I had no ego tied up in which minerals or rocks I found so it was an activity for the sake of pure experience and enjoyment. It was a moving meditation for five hours straight. In the end, I couldn’t believe how utterly relaxed and peaceful I felt. It was a wonderful experience.

I encourage all of you to find the time to let your mind go and relax into some meditation. Whether it is seated or in motion, you will find that it refreshes and rebuilds you in surprising ways.